DCFL 2000
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields
DCFL – (acronym) Dreaded Christmas Form Letter
——–
It’s hard to believe another year has passed. When I was a kid I remember hearing grownups say how fast the years went by, but all I could think was how could that be when it took forever for 45 minutes of piano practice to pass. Now that I’m an old man (31 this year, by the way, Chrystine will be 30 on December 26th), it really strikes me how little I knew and understood then. And more importantly how little I know and understand now. Having Brendon around just helps prove that point over and over on a daily basis. The one thing I do know is that friends, family and God are important, and the only constants in life. Chrystine and I have allowed life to make us busy. We don’t take the time we should for those we care about. That’s the driving force behind this feeble effort we’re making now (the dreaded Christmas form letter). We realize this is not as personal as we would like it to be, but hopefully over the rapidly approaching new year we will be able to make more time (a seemingly fruitless endeavor) to keep in touch with our friends. Now, to the heart of the matter…
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, etc. I hope this letter finds the proverbial “you and yours” happy and healthy. We’re doing well. We’ve been passing the same cold around between the three of us for the last six weeks, but other than that, we couldn’t be happier. We are trying to be more aware of the simple pleasures in life and not to take things for granted (I know that makes me sound all grownup, but trust me, it’s just smoke and mirrors, and a word processor). The new outlook on life started back in June. I was working a dead end job and Chrystine was about to interview for a management position at the hospital. Then, Brendon (who will be three in January) was diagnosed as PDD-NOS, which is a form of autism. We were devastated. Why our beautiful son? He doesn’t flap his hands or bang his head on the wall, and he is affectionate! He can’t be autistic! But, over the last five months things have really changed and we have learned so much about ourselves, about Brendon, and about autism. In July, I started working from home for a good friend developing software for Kansas’s public health clinics. The job is fun and has a promising future (other states are interested), and most importantly I get to spend more time with Brendon and participate in his therapy sessions (since my commute has gone from three hours a day to three minutes a day). Chrystine didn’t get the management job, but she had decided she was going to turn it down anyway to focus on taking care of Brendon. She still works as a NICU nurse and ECMO specialist but she cut back her work schedule to only two days a week. We have found through family, friends, and divine intervention (the way things have worked out in the last five months we know God is answering our prayers), some incredible people to work with Brendon and be our support. So, we have “gotten a little perspective” and now we spend more time together with Brendon and trying to enjoy the simple things.
In June, we heard from doctors that autism was a lifelong debilitating disorder. But we have since heard from psychologists and therapists and seen from Brendon himself how effective early intervention can be. Brendon has been seeing two speech therapist (two hours per week), two occupational therapists (three hours per week), a physical therapist (monthly consult), a music therapist (one hour a week), and he is involved in a study at Georgia State (a couple of hours every two or three months for the next year). He is doing great. He has made so much progress in the last five months it really is amazing. It’s like we can see his brain making the connections in the almost weekly leaps in his development. We now see his problems as developmental delays and not disabilities. He is very happy and also very affectionate (which is not typical of kids with autism. So, ironically, Brendon is even atypical of atypical kids… sounds like he’s taking after his Mom and Dad already). Chrystine has taken on a different management position. She is Brendon’s chief therapist and spends much of her time managing and coordinating his therapy and transportation. While the pay and hours for that job are terrible, there isn’t a job out there that can match the benefits. I just do what I’m told and help out where I can.
Well, enough babbling for this holiday season… I’ll continue next year (or sooner if you aren’t good boys and girls). Ok, almost enough babbling; just one more thing… This year, just take a step back and look around you and “get a little perspective.” And if you feel like you need somebody to talk to, or you just want to say “hi” drop us a line, or give us a shout. We know it’s easy to let life make you busy and to get hung up on things that seem important and cause you to grow apart from those you care about. It happens to us, too (hence the dreaded Christmas form letter). But try… and we’ll do the same.
