DCFL 2004
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields

DCFL – (acronym) Dreaded Christmas Form Letter
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One, Seven, and Ten. Those are the BIG numbers this year (not necessarily in that order). Let’s start with:

One – Brendon started 1st grade this year.

It was a bumpy start. First was the summer school nightmare. It was a new program the school was starting up with the YMCA. The idea was good but the implementation was terrible. The program the YMCA had wasn’t bad, and they had good people lined up. But the required information (which kids needed what support) wasn’t delivered by the school to the people that needed it. Brendon had a hard time and that didn’t need to happen. Hopefully though, since this was the first year, they got the problems solved and next summer will be smoother. Once school started, things weren’t much better. Brendon started the year without his own aide. “Hey, we’re going to teach you how to swing on a trapeze – don’t worry, we’ll set up the safety net after we see if you need one”. So, Brendon stayed really stressed out and struggled for the first three weeks of school. Then they said “hey, Brendon really needs his own aide and maybe we shouldn’t place him in the rowdiest class.” We were happy they finally saw the light (a light we pointed out six months earlier). So, first grade has been really tough. Brendon has straight A’s, but he is so worn out when he gets home from just holding it together, that about the only thing we can work on at home is helping him unwind and deal with his emotions.

Seven – Brendon will be 7 next month.

It hasn’t been all work though. Brendon is growing so quickly I can hardly believe it. He took swimming lessons at the Y this year and had lots of fun. We’re going to sign him up for more lessons next year. It’s a great social activity, it’s really helping build his confidence and self esteem, and it’s great therapy too. Speaking of therapy, we added vision therapy to Brendon’s schedule this year. He’s having some problems tracking and with convergence (getting his eyes to work together when things are close up). But as we’ve seen time and again, when he gets proper support Brendon in incredible. He’s made huge strides with his vision just like with every other obstacle ever been placed in front of him. We go to Roswell for vision therapy (because his therapist is top notch and her group came highly recommended). After his therapy, we usually go to lunch, play some putt-putt, and go to Andretti’s speed lab to watch the go-karts and play some video games. He’s always worn out when we come home, but it’s not hard to see he’s having a great time.

Ten – This month we celebrate our 10th anniversary.

I’m still surprised she put up with me for this long, but Chrystine and I are going to New York for our anniversary. We’re going to take one day to go visit some of her relatives and several more just to cruise around the Big Apple. I know it’s going to be tough for me with the cold weather and no grits for breakfast, but I knew when I suggested the trip that it would win me lots of points (maybe she puts up with me for the one time every ten years when I have a good idea).

So if you crack this nutshell, you’ll see that this was our 2004.

I almost forgot to mention Holly, our beagle. She’s one year old (still just a puppy). I used to think I was a cat person. Then we got Holly, and I realized… I WAS RIGHT! Anybody want a dog? Everyone says after two or three years she’ll settle down. So if I can just keep from killing her for another year or two maybe she’ll turn into a good pet. Boy am I ready for the trip. I can use a getaway. The holiday season has just gotten so hectic. I find I’m spending less time reflecting on how blessed we are [I am] and being thankful, and more time being overwhelmed into near apathy. (Can you be near apathetic? Isn’t that like kinda pregnant?) I’ve tried to take on more responsibilities this year and now when I look back, I see that I haven’t done the so well. Have you ever noticed that when you juggle too many things, you drop the most important ones first? I guess you just get so used to the feel of them that you think juggling them is effortless. Note to self: effortless shouldn’t mean less effort. Thankfully, God gave me a Brendon to help point out my failures (if you don’t realize you’ve fallen off the horse, how do you know to get back on). One of my favorite things Brendon says is ironically something that really bugs me when he says it. “Just be happy. You have to be a happy man.” Usually he’s imploring me with those words because I’ve gotten angry. As I lecture down to him about what he’s done wrong, his words burn my ears like red hot pokers. They always throw me off. Suddenly I’m painfully aware of the real reason I’m angry. Almost without fail I have some hand in what has happened. By being impatient, or selfish, or stubborn, I invariably turn a mole hill into a continent. I totally disregard the situation or environment and what I have learned over the last four and a half years about how hard Brendon has to work. He has come so far, that sometimes I forget how we got here (hint: quick tempered narcissism wasn’t involved). But, I’m the grownup, I’m supposed to be the mature one. (Yeah, I know, I can’t even type that with a straight face). So it really is up to me. I can learn from my failures and instead of wasting time fuming about them, I can be mature and responsible (well, I can pretend to be anyway) and learn from my mistakes. The only way to see past our mistakes is to look forward. Which brings us to the moronal2: regardless of what has happened in your life, remember blessings come in all shapes and sizes. And even hard times are a chance to learn and grow. As long as there is breath in your lungs and hope in your heart, “just be happy. You have to.”

Merry ChristmaKwanzukkah!
Chrystine, Mike, and Brendon