Brendon-Lion
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields

It was his 8th birthday, and every party he’s ever had has been family only (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents). You see, Bren has always had trouble in crowds. He’s been to birthday parties for other kids (classmates) but he has always spent the first hour of the party hiding someplace quiet by himself. Over the second hour, he would usually warm up a little, have some fun, but then quickly burn out (and usually be exhausted for the rest of the day). So, we were a little nervous about having a party for him. But, developmentally, his interests are pretty age appropriate and he is pretty aware of kids around him. I think he’s starting to see he’s different, but he wants to be like them.

Anyway, we invited his class from school. We were worried that

1) nobody would show up to a party for the “weird kid”, and paradoxically
2) everybody would show up and he’d be so overstimulated that he’d hide in his room and miss his own party.

So, we did a couple of things. First, Chrystine came up with an animal theme (Bren LOVES animals) to help engage Bren. Second, Chrystine found a local pet store that “did parties”. Basically, the owner brings out a bunch of animals, talks about them, and lets the kids pet/hold them. Chrystine also had the very smart idea to have that part of the party FIRST. The idea was to have something engage Bren that would hopefully “distract” him from being overstimulated. Next, I made some cool invitations (trying to “woo” the other kids to the party) by “Photoshop-ing” a picture of a lion so that it had Bren’s smiling face! Chrystine made cupcakes and I took them to school for snack a week before the party for Bren’s birthday (his actual birthday was 1/5, his party was 1/14) to kind of advertise/drum up support. Well, 14 (out of 23 kids) sent an RSVP (and Bren’s regular ed teacher, his aide, and his special ed teacher too). We thought that was a good size party. Quite a few friends, but not too many. Plus, he’d have an extra safety net with his teachers, and they’d get the added bonus of seeing how we work with Bren in a challenging situation. Oh, finally, we took Bren to the pet store so he could meet Miss Rhonda and see the animals she was bringing and make any “special requests”.

So far, everything was clicking. The kids loved the invitations (“COOL PICTURE!”), and loved Chrystine’s cupcakes, and were really curious about the “special animal guests” mentioned on the invitations.

So, the 14th rolls around. It’s party time (2pm so we didn’t have to worry about lunch. We just had chips and juice and cake. Saved money, and it was one less thing to stress Bren out about – he’s a picky eater). Rhonda showed up with the animals a little early. Bren was in HEAVEN! He was asking questions about the animals, and TELLING Rhonda what HE knew about the animals. The kids slowly began to trickle in. The first few parents said “is it ok if we just leave them here?” We said “SURE!” Then they’d say “well, we’ll just stay a few minutes to make sure they’re doing ok.” We said “SURE!” Well, 30 minutes later (what was supposed to be 2/3 of the way through Rhonda’s 45 minute presentation) we had the 3 teachers, the 14 kids who RSVP’d, 3 other kids who didn’t RSVP, 5 younger siblings, and most of the parents packed in the living room anxiously waiting their turn to hold the ball python, ferret, chinchilla, rabbit, starfish, horseshoe crab, box turtles, gecko, and a dozen or more other animals that I can’t remember. 50 plus people in 1 room with Bren. Since he was the birthday boy, Rhonda let him see each animal first. Oh, I almost forgot, several kids jockeyed very early to sit with Bren (even before they knew he’d get to go first). I stayed close to him and talked very calmly and quietly while giving him constant proprioception. He LOVED it!

After Rhonda finished with the animals (45 minutes turned into about 75-80 minutes) all the kids washed up for cake. Only about 30 minutes left! We were almost home free. Then, Bren told me in a very tired, quiet voice, “I’m just going to go to my room for a few minutes.” I told him he’d done GREAT and asked “is it too loud?” He said “yeah.” I told him, “sure buddy, you can go take a break in your room.” So, I made the host rounds making sure everyone was happy (Chrystine is an AWESOME hostess – she was doing a great job helping the kids and entertaining the parents). Then I thought I better go check on Bren, the party has gone great, I don’t want it to unwind now. I went down the hall to his room and opened the door to see if he was ok. When I opened the door, he was beside his bed with a lightsaber. Another kid was up on his bed dueling with him. Two other kids were cheering them on, and then Darth Vader (a 5th kid wearing Bren’s Vader helmet) pushed passed me and ran out of the room (apparently vanquished, but he quickly returned). I could tell I surprised Bren when he said “WHAT!?!” (still holding his foe at bay). I said mostly to myself glowing with pride “nothing buddy, you don’t need me. I’ll leave y’all alone.” I went and interrupted Chrystine and told her “sorry, but you have to go check on Bren RIGHT NOW!” She went running down the hall, with Grandma in close pursuit.

The next time I saw Chrystine and Grandma they had shiny red eyes and stuffy noses.

It was the best kids party ever. (I heard several kids AND parents confirm that thought on the way out).