DCFL 2006
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields

DCFL – (acronym) Dreaded Christmas Form Letter
——–

This has been another exciting year for us. It started with my brother’s wedding on New Year’s Eve. Dave and Alisa were married at a beautiful historic chapel on Jekyll Island. Bren and I were very sharp in our matching penguin suits (Chrystine was pretty too). I’m really proud of Dave. I know I’m older, but in a lot of ways he’s been the mature, responsible one. I’m glad he’s found someone special to settle down with, and I pray that he and Alisa will be as happy and blessed as Chrystine and I. I know being with Chrystine has made the hard times easier and the good times that much better. We’re getting ready to celebrate our twelfth anniversary. I know there’s no way I’d rather have spent those years and no one I’d rather have spent them with.

“You can do all these amazing things, and sometimes you think that you will burst wide open…, don’t you? There’s one thing I know for sure, son. And that is, you are here for a reason.” – Jonathan Kent

Bren has had another amazing year too. He has been in a wedding on Jekyll Island, visited the Statue of Liberty, seen snow in Times Square, and seen New York City from the top of the Empire State Building. He saw first hand in Orlando that it’s A Small World after all (and sometimes an annoying one) and zipped through the stars on Space Mountain. He’s seen many of the wonderful creations on this small world. He saw the graceful belugas and the monstrous whale sharks at the world’s largest aquarium right here in Atlanta (small world indeed) and saw his first shows at the Fabulous Fox Theater and the Alliance Theater. We’ve picked up some new hobbies this year too, besides traveling and sightseeing. We’ve started hiking for one. If I’ve been a good boy this year, Santa might bring me a GPS for Christmas. Then we can start geocaching. We’ve also started something called Bren TV. We film fun activities or visits in a pseudo talk show / documentary type style. Bren really looks forward to his special guest stars, and he LOVES watching previous episodes with family and friends. One of my favorite things we do together though is build with Legos. We’ve built Lego race cars, garages, vehicles and hideouts for superheroes and super villains, and weapons to fight mutant dinosaurs. Now we need to build some shelves so Chrystine can see her dining room table again. Bren is developing so many skills and interests. It’s fascinating to see him grow. Today he told me he doesn’t know what he wants to be when he grows up. I told him “that’s ok, you can be anything you want to be” (I’m 37 and still don’t know what I want to be). Over the years, he has demonstrated boundless potential. One thing is certain; whatever career Bren chooses, he’ll do amazing things.

“You will be different, sometimes you’ll feel like an outcast, but you’ll never be alone. You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine.” – Superman

Bren went to summer camp for the first time this year. The youth minister at our church is camp director so I got to be one of the counselors in Bren’s cabin. One whole week with no computer, TV, or video games; I’m not sure how Bren made it (and by “Bren” I mean “I”). At the beginning of the week he was scared to try new things and afraid of not being as good as other kids. But they really embraced him and encouraged him. He did so many things that just days before he knew he couldn’t do. By the end of the week he had led a prayer in front of 150+ people and was participating in and enjoying all the activities. On the last day of camp we watched a video of the week (one of the guys at church is a professional videographer). When a clip of Bren was shown (an advantage of being friends with the videographer), everybody clapped. I was so proud I thought I would burst wide open.

“They can be a great people, Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. It is for this reason above all, their capacity for good, I have sent them you—my only son.” – Jor-El

Bren’s developmental psychologist said something even more enlightening than usual at our last visit; “We only grow when we’re stressed.” When our bodies encounter prolonged resistance, our muscles grow in response. Likewise, when we face adversity, we grow intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. For Bren to reach his full potential, we have to let him learn to succeed, and fail. We have to let him stretch and explore. Sometimes he’ll get hurt. But he’ll learn so much more. His self-esteem will not be based on outside influences. Our job as parents is not to shelter him, even while we try to make sure what he takes in are positive things. Brendon’s job (our job as individuals) is to figure out how best to use what’s inside. That’s the source, the fuel for growth. True strength and confidence come from within.

“You wrote that the world doesn’t need a savior, but every day I hear people crying for one.”- Superman

Sometimes, we all feel like we don’t fit in. Sometimes we all feel alone. But we all possess the potential to do amazing things. We only need the courage to face failure. It makes success that much more significant. And that makes us stronger. As stronger people, we are better prepared to make a positive impact in someone else’s life. We never know when our strength will be the lifeline someone else is crying out for.

Merry Christmakwanzukkah!
Mike, Chrystine, and Brendon

DCFL2005
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields
DCFL – (acronym) Dreaded Christmas Form Letter
——–

Louis H. Sullivan once wrote “Form ever follows function.” The guy was mentor to Frank Llyod Wright and gets credit for creating the modern skyscraper. Maybe he was onto something. (Stay with me, I promise this is going somewhere.)

So, what functions were we following this year? Sticking with the architecture theme, let’s just start with the foundation. Chrystine and I have both been teaching Sunday school classes at church. Chrystine is working with the 2nd and 3rd graders (Bren’s class, not coincidentally) and I’m working with the high school group. Chrystine is really good with the kids. That’s really no surprise, since she’s knows so much about kids from being a mom and a nurse… and married to me for 11 years (12/17). I think that helps me with the high school group too though; I haven’t figured out I’m old yet. That means I can still talk to them about anything from Moses to Napoleon Dynamite. Every now and then I do see their eyes start to glaze over when I go off on one of my geek tangents and forget what my point was, but I’m working on that. One of the ways I’m working on that is: I’ve gone back to school. I want to be a better teacher (and husband, father, son, brother, friend, …) so every Tuesday night I drive to the other side of Atlanta to go to Bible college. I have to write lots of papers, but I don’t mind since I’ve always been interested in writing anyway. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll get something published (and I don’t mean my picture on the wall at the post office). I do have something I’m writing now (besides the DCFL). I’m busy trying to construct the PERFECT toast for my brother’s wedding! That’s right, Dave and Alisa are getting married. They met on New Year’s Eve, he proposed on New Year’s Eve, so I guess it makes sense for them to get married on New Year’s Eve. Shortly after Christmas this year, we’ll be heading down to Jekyll Island so I can play “best man” to the better man and welcome Dave to the joys of holy matrimony and building a life with someone.

Chrystine has a new function, kinda. A few months ago she got promoted to Assistant Nurse Manager at Egleston. She’s working more hours now (which means I have to pretend to be more mature and responsible), but she’s really enjoying herself and just bubbling with confidence. Her new responsibilities really just build on what she’s been doing for years. Her promotion a kind of validation for her. It says she’s a good nurse and is valued for her skills. And, It’s validation in other ways as well. Chrystine had applied for this same position 5.5 years ago, right before Bren was first diagnosed. She ended up cutting back her hours to make sure Bren got the developmental foundation and support he needed. The fact that she can increase her hours again is a testament to how good a job she has done with Bren and how far he has come in 5.5 years.

Speaking of Bren, this year we’ve seen him building success on top of success. It’s been great seeing him having fun in second grade after the nightmares of last year (we love his team at school this year). Outside of school, there have been many developments as well. This year Bren has been to Sea World, Ruby Falls, Rock City, the Atlanta Zoo, the Jacksonville Museum of Science and History, Fernbank Science Center, Fernbank Natural History Museum, the Center for Puppetry Arts, Callaway Gardens, three different IMAX theaters, and the Tennessee Aquarium (we haven’t been to the Georgia Aquarium yet, but we hope to get in there before the end of January). I probably left some things out, but you get the idea. He’s also been taking swimming lessons, horseback riding, and we’re looking into possibly doing some gymnastics. We did a couple rounds of a really intense listening therapy called Tomatis which is weird sounding filtered music that stimulates a certain part of the brain, but we’re taking a break from vision therapy. Sounds like he’s about ready for the Trials, I know, but after what happened to that Skywalker kid, the Council has decided that we need to invest at least as much into developing a padawan’s emotions as we do developing their skills with the Force or a lightsaber (I’m DEFINITELY not ready to let Bren near a lightsaber).

So, we’ve had lots of functions this year. Has form followed? Well, Frank Lloyd Wright said: “Form follows function – that has been misunderstood. Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union.” Once again, the padawan teaches the master. The moronal* is form isn’t automatic. Whether you are building, teaching, trying defeat a Sith Lord, or just making it through the day; if you don’t start with a solid foundation and sound structure, good intentions just aren’t enough (ex. that Skywalker kid). We still have a long way to go, but Bren has already come so far (as have Chrystine and I). Our faith and love make a strong foundation. And recognizing where we are and where we want to be have helped us identify the work necessary to get us on our way. It’s the spiritual union between form and function that gives meaning to whatever you’re building. Now, break time is over! Get building!

Merry ChristmaKwanzukkah*!
Chrystine, Mike, and Brendon

PS. I didn’t kill our beagle Holly this year. For some reason Bren likes her. So as a favor to him, I let her breathe, for now.
PPS. Speaking of Jedi, if I find who wrote “Onli-Wan Cannoli” on my statue in the Archives, I’ll show THEM “Dark Side!”

* Moronal – (n.) Wisdom from the clueless [informal blend of moron and moral]
* ChristmaKwanzukkah – (n.) Holiday season [informal blend of Christmas, Kwanzaa, and Hanukkah]; “Festivus Plus”

DCFL 2004
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields

DCFL – (acronym) Dreaded Christmas Form Letter
——–

One, Seven, and Ten. Those are the BIG numbers this year (not necessarily in that order). Let’s start with:

One – Brendon started 1st grade this year.

It was a bumpy start. First was the summer school nightmare. It was a new program the school was starting up with the YMCA. The idea was good but the implementation was terrible. The program the YMCA had wasn’t bad, and they had good people lined up. But the required information (which kids needed what support) wasn’t delivered by the school to the people that needed it. Brendon had a hard time and that didn’t need to happen. Hopefully though, since this was the first year, they got the problems solved and next summer will be smoother. Once school started, things weren’t much better. Brendon started the year without his own aide. “Hey, we’re going to teach you how to swing on a trapeze – don’t worry, we’ll set up the safety net after we see if you need one”. So, Brendon stayed really stressed out and struggled for the first three weeks of school. Then they said “hey, Brendon really needs his own aide and maybe we shouldn’t place him in the rowdiest class.” We were happy they finally saw the light (a light we pointed out six months earlier). So, first grade has been really tough. Brendon has straight A’s, but he is so worn out when he gets home from just holding it together, that about the only thing we can work on at home is helping him unwind and deal with his emotions.

Seven – Brendon will be 7 next month.

It hasn’t been all work though. Brendon is growing so quickly I can hardly believe it. He took swimming lessons at the Y this year and had lots of fun. We’re going to sign him up for more lessons next year. It’s a great social activity, it’s really helping build his confidence and self esteem, and it’s great therapy too. Speaking of therapy, we added vision therapy to Brendon’s schedule this year. He’s having some problems tracking and with convergence (getting his eyes to work together when things are close up). But as we’ve seen time and again, when he gets proper support Brendon in incredible. He’s made huge strides with his vision just like with every other obstacle ever been placed in front of him. We go to Roswell for vision therapy (because his therapist is top notch and her group came highly recommended). After his therapy, we usually go to lunch, play some putt-putt, and go to Andretti’s speed lab to watch the go-karts and play some video games. He’s always worn out when we come home, but it’s not hard to see he’s having a great time.

Ten – This month we celebrate our 10th anniversary.

I’m still surprised she put up with me for this long, but Chrystine and I are going to New York for our anniversary. We’re going to take one day to go visit some of her relatives and several more just to cruise around the Big Apple. I know it’s going to be tough for me with the cold weather and no grits for breakfast, but I knew when I suggested the trip that it would win me lots of points (maybe she puts up with me for the one time every ten years when I have a good idea).

So if you crack this nutshell, you’ll see that this was our 2004.

I almost forgot to mention Holly, our beagle. She’s one year old (still just a puppy). I used to think I was a cat person. Then we got Holly, and I realized… I WAS RIGHT! Anybody want a dog? Everyone says after two or three years she’ll settle down. So if I can just keep from killing her for another year or two maybe she’ll turn into a good pet. Boy am I ready for the trip. I can use a getaway. The holiday season has just gotten so hectic. I find I’m spending less time reflecting on how blessed we are [I am] and being thankful, and more time being overwhelmed into near apathy. (Can you be near apathetic? Isn’t that like kinda pregnant?) I’ve tried to take on more responsibilities this year and now when I look back, I see that I haven’t done the so well. Have you ever noticed that when you juggle too many things, you drop the most important ones first? I guess you just get so used to the feel of them that you think juggling them is effortless. Note to self: effortless shouldn’t mean less effort. Thankfully, God gave me a Brendon to help point out my failures (if you don’t realize you’ve fallen off the horse, how do you know to get back on). One of my favorite things Brendon says is ironically something that really bugs me when he says it. “Just be happy. You have to be a happy man.” Usually he’s imploring me with those words because I’ve gotten angry. As I lecture down to him about what he’s done wrong, his words burn my ears like red hot pokers. They always throw me off. Suddenly I’m painfully aware of the real reason I’m angry. Almost without fail I have some hand in what has happened. By being impatient, or selfish, or stubborn, I invariably turn a mole hill into a continent. I totally disregard the situation or environment and what I have learned over the last four and a half years about how hard Brendon has to work. He has come so far, that sometimes I forget how we got here (hint: quick tempered narcissism wasn’t involved). But, I’m the grownup, I’m supposed to be the mature one. (Yeah, I know, I can’t even type that with a straight face). So it really is up to me. I can learn from my failures and instead of wasting time fuming about them, I can be mature and responsible (well, I can pretend to be anyway) and learn from my mistakes. The only way to see past our mistakes is to look forward. Which brings us to the moronal2: regardless of what has happened in your life, remember blessings come in all shapes and sizes. And even hard times are a chance to learn and grow. As long as there is breath in your lungs and hope in your heart, “just be happy. You have to.”

Merry ChristmaKwanzukkah!
Chrystine, Mike, and Brendon

DCFL 2003
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields

DCFL – (acronym) Dreaded Christmas Form Letter
——–

If you see a year lying around somewhere, please let me know? I don’t know where mine went. I suspect Bren must’ve eaten it. He’s getting big. He weighs about 60 pounds now. Fortunately, unlike his Dad, he’s increasing his height rather than his width.

I figure before he finishes elementary school he’ll be taller than Chrystine. Speaking of elementary school, Bren started kindergarten this year. He’s doing great in a typical kindergarten class with an aide. Peggy (his aide) has been stepping back some because Bren wants to “do it myself.” Peggy tells us the other kids in his class really like helping him when he needs it too. So it seems that inclusion is working (we are truly blessed to have such wonderful people and support programs available). Bren has friends who like to work and play with him. We’ve already been to several birthday parties this year, including roller skating (Chrystine could’ve been a waitress at Arnold’s on Happy Days, except of course that she wasn’t around in the 50s… and since Arnold’s wasn’t real, neither was it) and laser tag. Bren’s progress has just been amazing. We couldn’t be more excited. I don’t know how much has changed since I was in kindergarten (I can’t remember last week, much less last century), but Bren has a lot of homework. The reading is easy for him, but there is a lot of handwriting too. He struggled with that at first, but he’s gotten much better. One of his favorite things to do now is connect the dots. So just chock writing up as another obstacle that Bren is conquering. He really is a special kid. He teaches us so much every day: like, it’s easier to do something if you don’t know you aren’t supposed to be able to do it. To Bren, an obstacle isn’t something blocking his path; it’s just something else to climb on. It makes me wish for that childlike innocence, confidence, and sense of hope and wonder. It’s not like that is taken from us as we get older. Somewhere along the line we willingly trade it in for the weight of skepticism and doubt. Whose idea was that anyway? And why do we give it up so easily? It’s a bad trade.

Recently, we decided to reclaim some of that hope and wonder. We went on our first real family vacation. We took a three night Disney Cruise (the ship was named the Disney Wonder coincidentally, or not) to Nassau and Castaway Cay. My parents went with us. Chrystine’s parents weren’t able to go, but we got to visit with them before and after the cruise, so that was nice. We’ll have another big family vacation where everybody can go soon, I know. Still, we had a great time. I think my favorite part of the trip was the aquarium at Atlantis in Nassau. Walking through the glass tunnel with sharks swimming overhead was just too cool. Bren’s favorite part was the three story water slide into the Mickey Mouse shaped pool on the top deck of the ship. He must’ve gone down that thing a hundred times. The stops in the Bahamas were fun, but there was a lot to do on board too. Bren played in the Oceaneer’s Club and was in a little musical production for the parents on stage with Mickey Mouse. We spent lots of time in the pools and arcade, and way too much time in the restaurants. We also got to see a movie onboard and a big budget Broadway style musical on the last night. I would highly recommend a Disney Cruise. It’s a great family getaway. (My next door neighbor is a travel agent if you need a hook-up).

I guess the last bit of news we have is that we have a new member of the family. SETTLE DOWN, it’s just a dog. We now have a seven week old female Beagle named Holly (since we got her “for Christmas.”). I wanted to call her Santa’s Little Helper, but Chrys nixed that. We tried for the last couple of months to find the perfect dog. We visited breeders and rescues, but a simple newspaper ad we spotted before dinner on a Friday resulted in us taking our own puppy outside at 2am Saturday morning. (note to self: get a new puppy when its warm outside).

And that’s me! So, we come to this year’s moronal2 about obstacles. Sometimes we just need to remember we were all kids once. We were brave and confident. We didn’t know there were things we couldn’t do. The world was ours. At least until somebody told us there were things we couldn’t do, and that the world wasn’t ours. And the crazy thing about it is we believed them. Well, forget them! The world IS ours! And there is nothing we can’t do, as long as we believe. I learned that from my son. (Clap if you believe…)

Merry ChristmaKwanzukkah!
Chrystine, Mike, and Brendon

DCFL 2002
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields

DCFL – (acronym) Dreaded Christmas Form Letter
——–

Look at that sneaky grin. You can tell he’s got plans. This picture was taken in October on a train at the Atlanta Zoo. It was the end of a long day of fun. We were all plum tuckered out from seeing the lions and tigers and [panda] bears, Oh My! But Bren was still ready for some fun. He thought the petting zoo and a train ride were the perfect things to cap it all off. And that’s just the way he is. Bren has been a real “take charge” kind of kid this year. He’s made HUGE strides in therapy and continues to amaze us with his progress. He’s not the quiet withdrawn kid he was 2½ years ago when he started therapy. I remember how hard it was sometimes to get and keep his attention. And even then he got over stimulated so quick that he would shut down for an hour or more. Now, the time that used to be filled with silence is now filled with “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy…” He comes to us all the time now to talk to us. We don’t have to pursue him near as much as we used to. He wants to talk and share. He loves reading books and singing songs together. But you have to be careful and pay attention. That kid has a mind like a steel trap (like his daddy – ok like his mommy) and he doesn’t forget a thing (definitely like his mommy). If you try to skip a page (or a verse of a song) and cheat him, he’ll call you on it. “Noooooo, that’s not right! How’s it go?” The most clever thing he’s picked up though has to be passing the buck. If he knocks something over (intentional as often as it is accidental) the words “Daddy, I fink you dropped somefing” spring from his lips without hesitation. Why do I get the feeling he’s still going be using that one for another 10-15 years?

Bren has really had a big year. The focus of therapy has really been socialization. Bren is doing so well academically (he’s testing older) and physically. He is really starting to catch up. We met with his teachers and they said they thought he was getting bored in class because he wasn’t being challenged. So, now he is in a class with 20 typical kids doing arts and crafts and story time and sharing and just typical things. It’s so strange to us to call that typical. Everything Bren does he has to work so hard for. Typical to us isn’t typical at all. It’s very special, and exciting, and rewarding, and such a blessing. Two and a half years ago we were told he would live the rest of his life with limitations. Then, we were told that with lots of hard work, he would eventually catch up. Now, the school’s recommendation is for him to be in a regular kindergarten class next year. To prepare for that he is spending more time in the typical pre-k and doing great. Starting in January, he will be in the typical pre-k all day (except for therapy) to help get him ready for kindergarten next year. He has also started therapeutic riding through school where he gets to ride a horse for physical therapy (personally I’m not crazy about any animal that weighs more than I do, and there aren’t many). He is really enjoying that. I can tell from the way he jumps on my back and says “Walk on, Copper!” Copper is an Appaloosa. He got to ride another horse named Hobby this week.

And in other news… Chrystine took an interior design class this fall. She’s got a real flair for design, she probably watched too many episodes of Trading Spaces. The class this fall was just a trial to see if she likes it enough to maybe do it professionally some day. Her instructor was really conservative though and taught design as rules based, not as art. That kind of turned her off to it. But I told her it was probably just the teacher. I can’t imagine design being like math or physics where you have to plug the design into an equation. There has to be some freedom to it. After all, have you ever seen a Granimals living room suite, or paint by numbers decorating? And my big news is I climbed my big acrophobic behind 30 feet up a ladder to put icicle lights on the house this year for Chrys and Bren. Now that it’s over, I’m pretty proud of it. But I will say that those lights are probably going to stay up there well past Christmas.

And finally, (this wouldn’t be a DCFL without some words of wisdom from the moron), just remember that typical doesn’t mean taken for granted. We thank God for every little milestone Bren reaches; even the ones kids are supposed to reach, because at one point we were told Bren wouldn’t. We thank God because through Bren we learned that things taken for granted can easily be taken away. Bren still has a lot of work ahead, but he’s becoming more typical every day, and to us, typical is special. Now, here’s your homework: Go call somebody you haven’t talked to in a while, or send them a letter (or an email) just to let them know you don’t take them for granted.

Merry ChristmaKwazukkah!
Chrystine, Mike, and Brendon

DCFL 2001
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields

DCFL – (acronym) Dreaded Christmas Form Letter
——–

It’s that time again… Time for The Dreaded Christmas Form Letter (DCFL); the way things are going, I’ll be lucky if this doesn’t end up being The Dreaded Easter Form Letter. But, such is life. Chrystine and I seem to be in a place right now where every day is just one more day we are behind. (Brendon even got swamped. More on that in a minute). We have lots to do both at work and at home, and everyday seems to add to it. Part of me is looking forward to getting a break for the holidays, and part of me is dreading the holidays because of all the work we have to do to get ready for them. Now, we have to work just to get some rest. Whatever happened to playing football in the yard until your parents called you in for dinner. Of course I guess I should have realized the trend even then, when I put off m y homework until the next morning (shhh… don’t tell Mom, she still thinks I did it when I got home from school).

I’m looking back at last year’s inaugural edition of The DCFL and it looks like I started off pretty much the same way. Scary, huh? The more things change… Oh well, what are you going to do?

Let me start off with my favorite subject: Brendon. He’s doing great! It’s amazing to see the progress over the last couple of months, let alone the last year. His schedule has gotten less busy lately though. We managed to not only overload ourselves, but we overextended him as well. In addition to the two hours of occupational therapy (OT), one hour of speech therapy (ST) and one hour of play therapy a week he has also been going to school three hours a day four days a week. Two days have been at a “special needs” preschool (where he gets more OT, ST, and physical therapy) and the other two days have been at a “typical” preschool where he is with regular kids doing regular kid things. We have such a great group of people working with Brendon. It seems like at almost the same time, everybody realized Brendon was struggling. Mili (the quarterback of Brendon’s team) suggested we cut back on Brendon’s structured activity to give him more time to just be a little monkey (my words, not hers). So, we have since cut him back to two days of school per week (one special needs and one typical); and he has not only bounced back, but he has been making even more progress. It’s really exciting to hear the teachers and therapists point out the strides he makes even week to week. He’s talking up a storm and is very affectionate. He really woke up socially during the last year. He loves playing with other people, from family to therapists to kids at school. He’s a real charmer, but he’s also stubborn like his Dad. He’s in the dreaded “NO” stage now where he disagrees with everything. That may sound like a negative, but to us, that is just another sign of growth and development. We are so proud of him. He has worked so hard and has come so far in the last year. We know he has a really bright future ahead (not that we’re biased or anything).

Chrystine is still working part time at Egleston (going on a million years) and coordinating all Brendon’s therapy. She’s the heart of the team, and I think prayer and her dedication are the most significant factors in Brendon’s progress. Hopefully, in the not too distant future she won’t need to work and will be able to do whatever she wants to do, whether it’s nursing, therapy, or interior decorating. I’m still working from home for a company in Kansas (18 months, which is like a million years to me). That job has been a real blessing too. The people are great, the work is fun, and I get to spend time with Chrystine and Brendon. We’re also now Life Group Leaders at church, which just means we are in charge of coordinating fellowship and service projects for about 25 families. So you can see we’ve got our hands full.

But there are times when being busy has to be put aside. Dad’s mother passed away on May 21. That was a strange time because we hardly knew her. The last time we saw most of Dad’s family was about 17 years ago. We were pretty nervous about seeing them again. But, things have gone really well. We all seem to honestly want to be a part of each other’s lives now. We’re really looking forward to getting to know them better. Why is it that death and tragedy bring people together? Who can honestly say that since 9/11 they haven’t at least tried to spend more time with their loved ones. And so that brings us back to the theme of this letter again (only the 2nd year and I’m already in a rut) which is “time.” I’m sure we’re not the only ones who are busy. Growing up seems to distract you with responsibility. The trick is to meet your responsibilities without sacrificing your friends and family. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s hard to know the right decision until you see the consequences. And then it’s too late. Something I’ve learned over the last few years is that adults are just big kids. We’ve just had more time to make mistakes. But another thing I’ve learned is that a past mistake doesn’t have to affect the future. Each day you wake up, you have another chance to try to get it right. Who knows, maybe someday I will.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot…
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, etc.

DCFL 2000
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields

DCFL – (acronym) Dreaded Christmas Form Letter
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It’s hard to believe another year has passed. When I was a kid I remember hearing grownups say how fast the years went by, but all I could think was how could that be when it took forever for 45 minutes of piano practice to pass. Now that I’m an old man (31 this year, by the way, Chrystine will be 30 on December 26th), it really strikes me how little I knew and understood then. And more importantly how little I know and understand now. Having Brendon around just helps prove that point over and over on a daily basis. The one thing I do know is that friends, family and God are important, and the only constants in life. Chrystine and I have allowed life to make us busy. We don’t take the time we should for those we care about. That’s the driving force behind this feeble effort we’re making now (the dreaded Christmas form letter). We realize this is not as personal as we would like it to be, but hopefully over the rapidly approaching new year we will be able to make more time (a seemingly fruitless endeavor) to keep in touch with our friends. Now, to the heart of the matter…

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, etc. I hope this letter finds the proverbial “you and yours” happy and healthy. We’re doing well. We’ve been passing the same cold around between the three of us for the last six weeks, but other than that, we couldn’t be happier. We are trying to be more aware of the simple pleasures in life and not to take things for granted (I know that makes me sound all grownup, but trust me, it’s just smoke and mirrors, and a word processor). The new outlook on life started back in June. I was working a dead end job and Chrystine was about to interview for a management position at the hospital. Then, Brendon (who will be three in January) was diagnosed as PDD-NOS, which is a form of autism. We were devastated. Why our beautiful son? He doesn’t flap his hands or bang his head on the wall, and he is affectionate! He can’t be autistic! But, over the last five months things have really changed and we have learned so much about ourselves, about Brendon, and about autism. In July, I started working from home for a good friend developing software for Kansas’s public health clinics. The job is fun and has a promising future (other states are interested), and most importantly I get to spend more time with Brendon and participate in his therapy sessions (since my commute has gone from three hours a day to three minutes a day). Chrystine didn’t get the management job, but she had decided she was going to turn it down anyway to focus on taking care of Brendon. She still works as a NICU nurse and ECMO specialist but she cut back her work schedule to only two days a week. We have found through family, friends, and divine intervention (the way things have worked out in the last five months we know God is answering our prayers), some incredible people to work with Brendon and be our support. So, we have “gotten a little perspective” and now we spend more time together with Brendon and trying to enjoy the simple things.

In June, we heard from doctors that autism was a lifelong debilitating disorder. But we have since heard from psychologists and therapists and seen from Brendon himself how effective early intervention can be. Brendon has been seeing two speech therapist (two hours per week), two occupational therapists (three hours per week), a physical therapist (monthly consult), a music therapist (one hour a week), and he is involved in a study at Georgia State (a couple of hours every two or three months for the next year). He is doing great. He has made so much progress in the last five months it really is amazing. It’s like we can see his brain making the connections in the almost weekly leaps in his development. We now see his problems as developmental delays and not disabilities. He is very happy and also very affectionate (which is not typical of kids with autism. So, ironically, Brendon is even atypical of atypical kids… sounds like he’s taking after his Mom and Dad already). Chrystine has taken on a different management position. She is Brendon’s chief therapist and spends much of her time managing and coordinating his therapy and transportation. While the pay and hours for that job are terrible, there isn’t a job out there that can match the benefits. I just do what I’m told and help out where I can.

Well, enough babbling for this holiday season… I’ll continue next year (or sooner if you aren’t good boys and girls). Ok, almost enough babbling; just one more thing… This year, just take a step back and look around you and “get a little perspective.” And if you feel like you need somebody to talk to, or you just want to say “hi” drop us a line, or give us a shout. We know it’s easy to let life make you busy and to get hung up on things that seem important and cause you to grow apart from those you care about. It happens to us, too (hence the dreaded Christmas form letter). But try… and we’ll do the same.