DCFL 2002
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields

DCFL – (acronym) Dreaded Christmas Form Letter
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Look at that sneaky grin. You can tell he’s got plans. This picture was taken in October on a train at the Atlanta Zoo. It was the end of a long day of fun. We were all plum tuckered out from seeing the lions and tigers and [panda] bears, Oh My! But Bren was still ready for some fun. He thought the petting zoo and a train ride were the perfect things to cap it all off. And that’s just the way he is. Bren has been a real “take charge” kind of kid this year. He’s made HUGE strides in therapy and continues to amaze us with his progress. He’s not the quiet withdrawn kid he was 2½ years ago when he started therapy. I remember how hard it was sometimes to get and keep his attention. And even then he got over stimulated so quick that he would shut down for an hour or more. Now, the time that used to be filled with silence is now filled with “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy…” He comes to us all the time now to talk to us. We don’t have to pursue him near as much as we used to. He wants to talk and share. He loves reading books and singing songs together. But you have to be careful and pay attention. That kid has a mind like a steel trap (like his daddy – ok like his mommy) and he doesn’t forget a thing (definitely like his mommy). If you try to skip a page (or a verse of a song) and cheat him, he’ll call you on it. “Noooooo, that’s not right! How’s it go?” The most clever thing he’s picked up though has to be passing the buck. If he knocks something over (intentional as often as it is accidental) the words “Daddy, I fink you dropped somefing” spring from his lips without hesitation. Why do I get the feeling he’s still going be using that one for another 10-15 years?

Bren has really had a big year. The focus of therapy has really been socialization. Bren is doing so well academically (he’s testing older) and physically. He is really starting to catch up. We met with his teachers and they said they thought he was getting bored in class because he wasn’t being challenged. So, now he is in a class with 20 typical kids doing arts and crafts and story time and sharing and just typical things. It’s so strange to us to call that typical. Everything Bren does he has to work so hard for. Typical to us isn’t typical at all. It’s very special, and exciting, and rewarding, and such a blessing. Two and a half years ago we were told he would live the rest of his life with limitations. Then, we were told that with lots of hard work, he would eventually catch up. Now, the school’s recommendation is for him to be in a regular kindergarten class next year. To prepare for that he is spending more time in the typical pre-k and doing great. Starting in January, he will be in the typical pre-k all day (except for therapy) to help get him ready for kindergarten next year. He has also started therapeutic riding through school where he gets to ride a horse for physical therapy (personally I’m not crazy about any animal that weighs more than I do, and there aren’t many). He is really enjoying that. I can tell from the way he jumps on my back and says “Walk on, Copper!” Copper is an Appaloosa. He got to ride another horse named Hobby this week.

And in other news… Chrystine took an interior design class this fall. She’s got a real flair for design, she probably watched too many episodes of Trading Spaces. The class this fall was just a trial to see if she likes it enough to maybe do it professionally some day. Her instructor was really conservative though and taught design as rules based, not as art. That kind of turned her off to it. But I told her it was probably just the teacher. I can’t imagine design being like math or physics where you have to plug the design into an equation. There has to be some freedom to it. After all, have you ever seen a Granimals living room suite, or paint by numbers decorating? And my big news is I climbed my big acrophobic behind 30 feet up a ladder to put icicle lights on the house this year for Chrys and Bren. Now that it’s over, I’m pretty proud of it. But I will say that those lights are probably going to stay up there well past Christmas.

And finally, (this wouldn’t be a DCFL without some words of wisdom from the moron), just remember that typical doesn’t mean taken for granted. We thank God for every little milestone Bren reaches; even the ones kids are supposed to reach, because at one point we were told Bren wouldn’t. We thank God because through Bren we learned that things taken for granted can easily be taken away. Bren still has a lot of work ahead, but he’s becoming more typical every day, and to us, typical is special. Now, here’s your homework: Go call somebody you haven’t talked to in a while, or send them a letter (or an email) just to let them know you don’t take them for granted.

Merry ChristmaKwazukkah!
Chrystine, Mike, and Brendon

DCFL 2001
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields

DCFL – (acronym) Dreaded Christmas Form Letter
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It’s that time again… Time for The Dreaded Christmas Form Letter (DCFL); the way things are going, I’ll be lucky if this doesn’t end up being The Dreaded Easter Form Letter. But, such is life. Chrystine and I seem to be in a place right now where every day is just one more day we are behind. (Brendon even got swamped. More on that in a minute). We have lots to do both at work and at home, and everyday seems to add to it. Part of me is looking forward to getting a break for the holidays, and part of me is dreading the holidays because of all the work we have to do to get ready for them. Now, we have to work just to get some rest. Whatever happened to playing football in the yard until your parents called you in for dinner. Of course I guess I should have realized the trend even then, when I put off m y homework until the next morning (shhh… don’t tell Mom, she still thinks I did it when I got home from school).

I’m looking back at last year’s inaugural edition of The DCFL and it looks like I started off pretty much the same way. Scary, huh? The more things change… Oh well, what are you going to do?

Let me start off with my favorite subject: Brendon. He’s doing great! It’s amazing to see the progress over the last couple of months, let alone the last year. His schedule has gotten less busy lately though. We managed to not only overload ourselves, but we overextended him as well. In addition to the two hours of occupational therapy (OT), one hour of speech therapy (ST) and one hour of play therapy a week he has also been going to school three hours a day four days a week. Two days have been at a “special needs” preschool (where he gets more OT, ST, and physical therapy) and the other two days have been at a “typical” preschool where he is with regular kids doing regular kid things. We have such a great group of people working with Brendon. It seems like at almost the same time, everybody realized Brendon was struggling. Mili (the quarterback of Brendon’s team) suggested we cut back on Brendon’s structured activity to give him more time to just be a little monkey (my words, not hers). So, we have since cut him back to two days of school per week (one special needs and one typical); and he has not only bounced back, but he has been making even more progress. It’s really exciting to hear the teachers and therapists point out the strides he makes even week to week. He’s talking up a storm and is very affectionate. He really woke up socially during the last year. He loves playing with other people, from family to therapists to kids at school. He’s a real charmer, but he’s also stubborn like his Dad. He’s in the dreaded “NO” stage now where he disagrees with everything. That may sound like a negative, but to us, that is just another sign of growth and development. We are so proud of him. He has worked so hard and has come so far in the last year. We know he has a really bright future ahead (not that we’re biased or anything).

Chrystine is still working part time at Egleston (going on a million years) and coordinating all Brendon’s therapy. She’s the heart of the team, and I think prayer and her dedication are the most significant factors in Brendon’s progress. Hopefully, in the not too distant future she won’t need to work and will be able to do whatever she wants to do, whether it’s nursing, therapy, or interior decorating. I’m still working from home for a company in Kansas (18 months, which is like a million years to me). That job has been a real blessing too. The people are great, the work is fun, and I get to spend time with Chrystine and Brendon. We’re also now Life Group Leaders at church, which just means we are in charge of coordinating fellowship and service projects for about 25 families. So you can see we’ve got our hands full.

But there are times when being busy has to be put aside. Dad’s mother passed away on May 21. That was a strange time because we hardly knew her. The last time we saw most of Dad’s family was about 17 years ago. We were pretty nervous about seeing them again. But, things have gone really well. We all seem to honestly want to be a part of each other’s lives now. We’re really looking forward to getting to know them better. Why is it that death and tragedy bring people together? Who can honestly say that since 9/11 they haven’t at least tried to spend more time with their loved ones. And so that brings us back to the theme of this letter again (only the 2nd year and I’m already in a rut) which is “time.” I’m sure we’re not the only ones who are busy. Growing up seems to distract you with responsibility. The trick is to meet your responsibilities without sacrificing your friends and family. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s hard to know the right decision until you see the consequences. And then it’s too late. Something I’ve learned over the last few years is that adults are just big kids. We’ve just had more time to make mistakes. But another thing I’ve learned is that a past mistake doesn’t have to affect the future. Each day you wake up, you have another chance to try to get it right. Who knows, maybe someday I will.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot…
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, etc.

DCFL 2000
Originally uploaded by Mike Fields

DCFL – (acronym) Dreaded Christmas Form Letter
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It’s hard to believe another year has passed. When I was a kid I remember hearing grownups say how fast the years went by, but all I could think was how could that be when it took forever for 45 minutes of piano practice to pass. Now that I’m an old man (31 this year, by the way, Chrystine will be 30 on December 26th), it really strikes me how little I knew and understood then. And more importantly how little I know and understand now. Having Brendon around just helps prove that point over and over on a daily basis. The one thing I do know is that friends, family and God are important, and the only constants in life. Chrystine and I have allowed life to make us busy. We don’t take the time we should for those we care about. That’s the driving force behind this feeble effort we’re making now (the dreaded Christmas form letter). We realize this is not as personal as we would like it to be, but hopefully over the rapidly approaching new year we will be able to make more time (a seemingly fruitless endeavor) to keep in touch with our friends. Now, to the heart of the matter…

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, etc. I hope this letter finds the proverbial “you and yours” happy and healthy. We’re doing well. We’ve been passing the same cold around between the three of us for the last six weeks, but other than that, we couldn’t be happier. We are trying to be more aware of the simple pleasures in life and not to take things for granted (I know that makes me sound all grownup, but trust me, it’s just smoke and mirrors, and a word processor). The new outlook on life started back in June. I was working a dead end job and Chrystine was about to interview for a management position at the hospital. Then, Brendon (who will be three in January) was diagnosed as PDD-NOS, which is a form of autism. We were devastated. Why our beautiful son? He doesn’t flap his hands or bang his head on the wall, and he is affectionate! He can’t be autistic! But, over the last five months things have really changed and we have learned so much about ourselves, about Brendon, and about autism. In July, I started working from home for a good friend developing software for Kansas’s public health clinics. The job is fun and has a promising future (other states are interested), and most importantly I get to spend more time with Brendon and participate in his therapy sessions (since my commute has gone from three hours a day to three minutes a day). Chrystine didn’t get the management job, but she had decided she was going to turn it down anyway to focus on taking care of Brendon. She still works as a NICU nurse and ECMO specialist but she cut back her work schedule to only two days a week. We have found through family, friends, and divine intervention (the way things have worked out in the last five months we know God is answering our prayers), some incredible people to work with Brendon and be our support. So, we have “gotten a little perspective” and now we spend more time together with Brendon and trying to enjoy the simple things.

In June, we heard from doctors that autism was a lifelong debilitating disorder. But we have since heard from psychologists and therapists and seen from Brendon himself how effective early intervention can be. Brendon has been seeing two speech therapist (two hours per week), two occupational therapists (three hours per week), a physical therapist (monthly consult), a music therapist (one hour a week), and he is involved in a study at Georgia State (a couple of hours every two or three months for the next year). He is doing great. He has made so much progress in the last five months it really is amazing. It’s like we can see his brain making the connections in the almost weekly leaps in his development. We now see his problems as developmental delays and not disabilities. He is very happy and also very affectionate (which is not typical of kids with autism. So, ironically, Brendon is even atypical of atypical kids… sounds like he’s taking after his Mom and Dad already). Chrystine has taken on a different management position. She is Brendon’s chief therapist and spends much of her time managing and coordinating his therapy and transportation. While the pay and hours for that job are terrible, there isn’t a job out there that can match the benefits. I just do what I’m told and help out where I can.

Well, enough babbling for this holiday season… I’ll continue next year (or sooner if you aren’t good boys and girls). Ok, almost enough babbling; just one more thing… This year, just take a step back and look around you and “get a little perspective.” And if you feel like you need somebody to talk to, or you just want to say “hi” drop us a line, or give us a shout. We know it’s easy to let life make you busy and to get hung up on things that seem important and cause you to grow apart from those you care about. It happens to us, too (hence the dreaded Christmas form letter). But try… and we’ll do the same.